disenchantinqs:

ahh yes, my winter coat is coming along nicely *strokes leg hair*

tupacabra:

people who use the excuse “it’s a free country”

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amortizing:

third wheeling two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple

pagingme:

can i make a bible out of this man

pagingme:

can i make a bible out of this man

nebulawebula:

my tissue box

nebulawebula:

my tissue box

forcefields:

it’s so weird that we call our loved ones things that we eat
sugar… pumpkin… honey… baby…

gaypee:

"i’m hungry"
"you just ate"
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everyoneisdeadnow:

if we go to a restaurant and have to choose between a table or a booth and you say table i will never trust you again

automatically:

when I badly need to pee but there is a line for the toilets

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abigalmills:

im not crying there’s just overpriced college education in my eye

sorelatable:

Freshmen about to be in the hallways like

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“Even if we’re married for 23 years,
I still want you to flirt with me.”

– A novel written by me. (via princessariel2323)